If I Should Die Before I Wake
by i-knew-your-love-was-eternal
Summary: Bella and Edward have been married for 3 years. 1 year after that, Alice&Jasper, and Rosalie&Emmett all went missing. Scared and unsure, Edward and Bella have no idea what to do. 1 year later, they get a letter, saying to not look for them. Yeah, right.
1. The Decisions We Make

**Life's gonna change, hold it while you can.**

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I never thought it'd come down to this. Sure, many of times that we got high or hung out at the Dome House, we were always safe. Locking the doors and closing off all vent ways from the bottom up, so no one would get hurt.

It was a late night in September and Mike, Jessica, Tanya, and I were heading to the 'dome.' The small light from the football field blew over the dome and lit up the corner room where the loft was at. We'd roll a joint and smoke up under the light sometimes.

Well, most of the time. I'd make sure the doors where locked, so we couldn't tumble out the dome and kill our-selves.

"Guys, look!" Jessica shouted as she pointed out of the dome and into the football light as our team scored a touchdown. She was already stoned, she didn't give a fuck about football.  
"Jessica.." I sighed, scared to death. "Get off the fricking ledge, how'd you even open the door?" Jessica Stanley was my best friend. Ever since Pre-K when I helped her off the high money bars. We'd been through everything, when her parents were arrested, when my parents left me with Gran.  
"Stop being such a douche, Bella." Jessica said, blowing smoke into the air. I managed to keep my mood in check, I'm the sober one, I chanted in my head.  
"Seriously, Jessica. Get the fuck off the ledge, you're gonna hurt yourself." Jessica spun a few times and jumped down on the little drop down of the ledge.  
"I'm fine, stupid." Jessica yelled throwing up her hands. I felt everything stop, then. My heart. My mind. I still can feel the drop of sweat on my forehead as she fell backwards as Mike and Tanya jumped forward to stop her. I just stood there, as I watched my best friend fall off the dome and onto the hard platform, with a crunch.

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	2. Incapable

**Chapter 1**

**Send me postcards, when you leave me. **

The wind blew as I sat on the outside of the funeral home. Many people passed by was I smoked my cig, eyeing me like trailer trash. I can't help it, I felt like yelling. Fuck off, I felt like yelling. But I'm the sober one.

"Our destination is a place, Far greater than we know. For some the journey's quicker, For some the journey's slow. And when the journey finally ends, We'll claim a great reward, And find an everlasting peace, Together with the lord." Tanya recited as they lowered Jessica down into the grave without an ounce of grace.

Tanya swiped her nearsighted aquamarine eyes and the wind blew into her silky bleach-blonde hair. She leaned back and let the wind blow her sins away. Her dress blew along with the wind as she clutched her vintage ivory gloved hands over her heart.

I watched as Tanya and Mike walked back to my spot. Mike glared at me, I'm shaking in my boots, Mike. Just shaking.

"How can you be so fucking emotionless?" Mike ranted in my face as my vision blurred out and I watched him without responding.

"You watched her fall, you bitch! She fell, she's dead and you don't give a shit!" He yelled.

I snapped out of my trance, angry."What are you talking about? She was gonna fall, dammit! I couldn't do anything about it! If I would have grabbed her fucking hand, you'd be mourning over two deaths." I said, holding in my rage with all I got.

Mike's eyes softened a little, and he started crying. Just repeating, "I'm so fucking sorry." He clutched Tanya and she watched me without a trance of emotion. I shivered as she glared down at me. I turned on my boots and walked out of the cemetery. I flagged down a taxi and drove away, as the rain poured down and washed Mike and Tanya out of my vision as I turned away from the back window.

**~%~**

The lights from the small corner store passed by in streaks as I drove down the California strip. The radio was blaring some eco-pop shit and I switched it off, hating what music has come to now. I bent down at a stop light and flipped in some Runaways. Drumming to Cherry Bomb, I stomped on the gas and drove down the lane.

When I reached my apartment, people were raving in the hallways. A good 50 people were rubbing up on each other, kissing passionately or having sex on my floor.

"I don't care where you fuckers go as long as you get the hell out of my house." I said over the music. A few people glanced up and went back to there business. I rolled my eyes with hatred. I threw my bag on the blue bar counter stool and walked over the the giant speaker. Get out of my house bastards, I thought as I kicked over the speaker which caused a a shit load of people to clear out, including a few half naked people running out the door. I dusted off my hands with satisfaction.

"Uh, you fucked up my speakers." Some guy spoke as he reached the kitchen, freely grabbing a beer.

"Put the beer down." I said, throwing my sweater into the hamper.

"As I said, before. You fucked up my speakers. I deserve a beer." He said as he scratched his unshaved jaw. I moaned inwardly. His jaw had this angle to it, an angle I was ready to lick. Filthy Bastard.

"You deserve a kick in the ass, leave." I said, covering up my lust. His lips twitched, as he rubbed his eyes. His green eyes shined in the night. It seemed almost impossible, to shine in the dark. But he fucking did it. His lips had a dip to them as they touch the rim of the beer bottle. I shivered.

"Cold?" He asked, smirking.

"Yeah." I nodded, encouragingly. I looked down at my drawings of the coffee table. I could've heard his eye-roll a mile away. He moved around the bar and sat on the couch. My Couch. I groaned and grabbed my drawings. I walked away from the living room with a extra sway to my step. Eat your heart out. Closing my bedroom door behind me, I fell against the back of the door in pure bliss.

"Bella, when are you gonna get over the facts? Stop looking at everything like it has a scientific reason." I said to myself.

I ran my hands through my waist length hair, as I thought about the man in my living room, drinking up my beers. Edward Cullen, Age 19, lean, buff, slightly an asshole. But that's what appealed me.

Walking over to my mirror, I slid down my tight jeans and my sneakers. Looking at my faint figure, I nodded my head to the right. Sure, I am beautiful.. I guess. But ever since the accident, I felt like Jessica took the glow. We were the complete opposite and when we went out on the town, we contrasted each others beauty, which in return made us both gorgeous beyond belief.

I pulled up some shorts and flinched as I heard a crash in the living room. I threw on a tee and stomped back out to the living room.  
Edward was sprawled out on the floor staring at the ceiling, with an eyebrow raised.

"When did you do this? It's... breath-taking." Edward said, lifting back up and pointing at the ceiling. I scoffed and laid out on the floor next to him, looking up at the ceiling.

It had been painted a dark night sky, with two stars on the horizon and a light coming from the left corner and highlighting the dark corner where the stars almost lay.

"When the hell did that get there?" I said breathless. Edward had rolled over to look at me by now, seeming marveled somehow. His hand reach over and caressed my face as I breathed out deeply.

"So beautiful." He spoke in a soft rusty growl.

"That's just the beer talking." I said, in a whimper. His hand moved over my hip and laid itself firmly on them, clutching the ducky print PJs. He breathed out and looked me in the eye.

"Bella, tell me something. Tell me that you didn't... make a scene at the furneral." Edward said, disappointed because he already knew the answer to his own question.

"Look, Mike got all fucking hostile and went off on me. You know I don't take shit from anyone. Especially Mike." I said moving away and onto the couch.

"Babe, look. I'm sorry. I mean - I didn't mean to make it look like I expect the worst out of you every time." Edward stammered. I rolled my eyes at this. Thanks, love you too.

"Whatever, you expect the worst out of me. It's okay, everyone does." I whispered in a hiss. Edward's eyes widened and he sat up against the couch and cradled my chin in his hands.

"Love, I can't expect anything from you. Never, you're a surprise everyday. I spend nights hoping that the next day I can wake up next to you and smile and hear the patter of your morning feet." Edward whispered in my ear as his face disappeared behind my hair. "Don't ever put those words in my mouth again. I adore you."

I guffawed. Seriously? We're back to this again? Edward groaned and started to backtrack. "I mean- you know..."

"No, I don't." I said as I got up and walked away, back into the kitchen. I grabbed a beer and flipped off the cap.

Edward pushed off from the ground and stood in front of my dangling feet, sighing.

"I can't say it, Bella. I just can't- you know I can't." Edward said, wiping tears. I pulled him closer, and wiped off his tears for him. I should be doing that, not him. I caused them, I retrieve them.

"I know, I shouldn't be asking for more, not at this point." We both nodded, though we both knew, one day it won't be enough for either of us.

I silently clung to his shirt, wiping my own tears on him that I wasn't even aware I produced.

"We'll be fine. We'll find ALL of them." I said, pushing the coffee maker to the side. I had hope in my conclusion, I knew that if we didn't find them, we'd never be the same.

"Will we? Do they even want to be found? And do they want us to find them?" Edward whispered, hopelessly.

"I've been wondering, if we never find them, if they'll find us. I'm absolutely positive they'd come and get us." I said, cupping his chin, rubbing the dimple in it.

"I believe, we'll find them. Even Rose.." Edward said, with a shudder. I agreed silently also. If there was a choice in the matter, I'd leave her ass in the gutter. But, we need her. Just not her attitude.

"So, we're gonna do it? We'll find them?" I said, jumping off the counter and walking around Edward. I pulled off the leather pants on the wall and my red and black checkered shirt. Edward watched me as I hurried and pulled everything on, grabbing my heels and slipping them on. I pulled out my gun, and stuck it on my hip.

After walking to the door, I turned around to see Edward still watching me, in misbelief.

"We're going right now? It's 4 am."

"And it's 1 pm in France, let's go." I said, Edward pulled on everything, gun included. And we walked out of what we've been desperately hiding in.

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A/N: I know, I know. Nothing makes a bit of sense, but it all soon will! The WHOLE gang is included, we just have to get to that part of the story. Thank you, for the two reviews I got. I was writing this when I was feeling down, I'm glad you actually put up with that sad excuse of a chapter. :3 Thank you, and could you maybe please quite possibly review? **


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